But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
