I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize