Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
