The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
