apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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