he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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