I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
