Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
