I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
