I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
