My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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