Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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