does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize