i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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