Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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