You're completely useless in the revolution.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
