I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
