If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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