making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
