That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
