Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
wat bout pragnant strippers??
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
