You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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