Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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