My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize