I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
