Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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