just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
