Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize