oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
your room smells of hookers.
And success
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
