I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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