It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
