She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize