Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
