and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
