We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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