Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
