She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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