just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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