:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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