i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
