her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
