I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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