we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just googled if crying burns calories
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
