i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize