Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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