I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
