Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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