No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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