24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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