google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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