If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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