I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
