I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
