so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Alive.
So much puke
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
