Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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