dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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