So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
