Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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