the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You need a sexual gate keeper
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
