T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize