Dual....:-)
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
