so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
