He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
