I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
