I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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