Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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