I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
