We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
