she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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