Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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