I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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