in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
