oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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