Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
