Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize