I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize