It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
