I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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